Have you ever wanted to get close to someone but for whatever reason they just won’t open up to you?

How can we have a deep life of prayer when we are so busy? There’s so much to keep up with. Just when we check off the eight things on our to-do list there are ten new things that come at us. And we often feel pressure not only to get things done but to get them done quickly.

Today’s writing is a little different. It’s part prayer and part reflection on the craving of my heart—intimacy with God. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word intimate like this: marked by a warm friendship developing through long association. Keep that definition in mind as you read this raw psalm-like piece today.

I’m scared for America. At some point, the sins of this nation will reach a tipping point and the Lord God will unleash His fierce judgment. That half a million people have died from the virus could very well be the beginnings of the judgment of the Lord. I especially worry about the younger generations. What kind of country will they inherit in 20-30 years? History has taught us that even mighty empires, like Rome, can fall.

The reading of good books will stoke the fires of pursuit. Books shape our minds. They help us see the beauty of God. They open us to possibilities. In some mysterious way, we can be profoundly moved toward God by something we read. Books are a gift from above.

You are pursuing hard after God. You are praying and doing some fasting. You are groaning for closeness with God. You are searching your heart. You are making adjustments. You are hungering and thirsting. You aren’t sure if you are getting anywhere. You still feel the same. You feel pretty good that you are doing these spiritual practices but it’s hard to measure progress. Rather than feeling stronger you actually feel weaker. Rather than feeling more holy, you feel more aware of your sinfulness.

Here’s what’s going to happen.

Like so many things in life—marriage, college, a new job, a new hobby, joining a church or gym—there is an initial excitement. We could even call it a high. In marriage, we call it the “honeymoon phase.” The same can be true with an initiative like the 100 Days of Pursuit. We feel pumped up. Anticipation builds. Emotions soar for a while but then, well, they flop down. We come down from the high and find ourselves in need of patience and discipline.

All of us have experienced times when prayer just isn’t working. It feels like there’s a dark heavy cloud over us preventing us from seeing the Lord. The sweetness of communion is lost. Figuring out why prayer feels like a sandstorm in a desert is challenging.

When I began high school in the early 80’s I fell in love with the electric guitar. Actually, I have memories of making handmade electric guitars out of cardboard when I was about eight and pretending to jam out with a friend. After nagging my parents continually they finally bought me an electric guitar and an amp. I’m pretty sure they regret that decision because I played constantly and played loud. I just loved playing and learning new things. After high school my favorite thing to do was to set up in a large empty space and create with a few other musicians. My dream was to be in a band and tour around playing gigs. I loved it!

Someone once said, “Where there’s a will there’s a way.” It’s not a Bible verse but it hints at an important spiritual principle. A paraphrase of the statement might be this: When the desire for something is strong we will do whatever it takes to obtain the object of our desire. The stronger our desire the more we will push through to lay ahold of it.

Today I want to bring you into my personal world a bit. 2020 really made me more aware of how short life is. So many people in our nation and the world were affected by the virus. This verse in the book of James became more real than ever:

Have you ever experienced awkward silence in conversation with someone? It’s when both people can’t think of anything to say and neither feels comfortable about the silence. Usually one starts a sentence, not knowing what they’ll say but they just speak out, “So, yeah, um, um.” It’s terrible right? Some people hate awkward silence so much that they just keep babbling about whatever random thing they can think of to say. I personally think it’s nice when two people can be silent with each other and it’s not awkward at all.

Today is Martin Luther King Day and a perfect day to talk about justice as it relates to the pursuit of God. Dr. King wasn’t the perfect example of a Christian but in certain regards, he was a burning and shining light in his generation. He showed us what it means to love in the face of hate. He was no mere talker but put his life on the line for what he believed. He faced constant death threats—and even had the C.I.A. hounding him!—but he did not waver from his cause to promote racial justice. White pastors called him a dangerous extremist but he sustained an attitude of kindness and respect toward them always.

Why didn’t anybody tell me about East Beach in Watch Hill? My wife—who is a bit obsessed with finding sea glass—brought me here today as I write this. I’ve lived in Rhode Island for over twenty years and have explored the tiny state through and through. Or so I thought. I’ve actually been to Watch Hill many times but somehow missed this beautiful beach.

The church is in decline in America. The need of the hour is for God’s people in this land to consecrate themselves to a “fasted lifestyle.” We need to put aside TV and toys for the sake of the pursuit. We cannot have the glory of God and the glory of the world.

Growing up I was pretty average, or at least felt average. Average in looks. Average in academics. Average in sports. Average musically. Average in social skills. Being average, and probably thinking of myself as less-than-average, made it feel impossible to “go out with” (term for dating in the ’80s) any of the beautiful girls in my school. But every once in a while—perhaps by an unseen movement of divine mercy—I would find out that a really beautiful girl was crazy about me. The whole world seemed instantly charged with fresh energy.

What if God doesn’t show up for your prayer time? Has that ever happened to you? You set aside a generous block of time to pray but when you get there the spiritual lights are off and nobody is home. Your mind feels blank. There’s no inspiration. As the old saints used to say, “The heavens are brass.” Oh God, where are you?

If you are new to fasting it’s good to ease into it. If you have health conditions it’s also good to get advice from your physician.

As I mentioned in my last letter, many of the survey responses expressed interest in learning about fasting. It’s funny how there aren’t really that many books on the topic despite the fact that the Bible talks a lot about it. The one book that stands out that I’d recommend is God’s Chosen Fast by Arthur Wallis. It’s a short read but very dense. He has several other good books, as well. My intention here is to give you a brief beginner’s guide to fasting.

Thanks for all the survey responses. Very helpful. It was interesting how many of you asked for teachings on fasting. I’ll put something together this week. Today I want to talk about “tiny prayers”. Up to this point, I’ve put a lot of emphasis on shutting away and giving God generous amounts of time. This is absolutely important. But another good habit is to shoot up small prayers throughout the day from morning till night.