Today I want to bring you into my personal world a bit. 2020 really made me more aware of how short life is. So many people in our nation and the world were affected by the virus. This verse in the book of James became more real than ever:
What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. — James 4:14
While the pandemic has been the most difficult year so far of my almost 25 years of full-time ministry, I can say it has had a very profound effect on me. I’ve asked questions like, “What is the best use of my time?” and, “Is God trying to say something to me that I’m not hearing?”
The pandemic restrictions had an initial overload on me as a pastor. There were a lot of big decisions to make and a lot of technology to figure out. But then my days, mainly at home from morning till night, felt long. The beautiful simplicity of working from home allowed me more time to go deeper with God. Usually, our church always has some kind of outreach or massive art installation or crazy complicated ministry in process. But during the pandemic, there was none of that occupying my mind.
We also don’t have little children. Just a small dog. So home life is very simple. My wife is a photographer so she works mostly from home as well. It’s been wonderful to just be at home together. In the warmer weather, we went for walks almost daily by the ocean. Occasionally, we’d just go for a scenic drive along the coast or through the countryside. The long days reminded me of childhood. But what do I do with 16-17 hours every day in light of the prayer of Moses in Psalm 90?
The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away. Who considers the power of your anger, and your wrath according to the fear of you? So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. — Psalm 90:10-12
TV time
Even though I felt like I had time to waste, I kept thinking about how time is so precious! There were certain things I was doing pretty habitually to fill time when the pandemic started, like watching movies at night, that I realized were not helping me grow spiritually at all.
I’ve long had the habit of spending time with God from morning till lunch daily, except Sundays when I preach. The middle part of the day sometimes into the early evening is when I do meetings, emails and other pastoral duties. After dinner, about 8 or 9, many nights, would be what I deemed a well-deserved time of relaxation sitting in front of the tv for several hours—“me time.” Our family is very careful with what we watch (always looking up parental reviews before watching something). But during the pandemic I came to a place—again!—of feeling like this is not a good way to spend the last few hours of most days especially in light of verses like this:
Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. — Ephesians 5:15-16
Test me
I felt the Lord challenging me. It wasn’t really conviction or discipline. It wasn’t like God was saying, “I am mad at you for all your tv watching.” It was more like a gentle whisper: “Put aside the tv and watch what happens.” It reminds me of a similar challenge God gives in the Bible about giving:
Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the LORD of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need.— Malachi 3:10
I thought it would be hard to do what God was asking because the truth is I can get quite addicted to the experience of moving images. It is a multi-layered addiction and often we aren’t even aware of how strong of a hold it has on us. Even if we don’t give up tv completely it’s definitely good to fast from it during Lent or other special seasons of prayer (like now during the 100 days). But anyway, it seemed like the Spirit graciously made it easy to put aside the tube time. Here’s what happened.
Traction
I would sum up the effect on me of this simple decision in one word: traction. Let me explain what I mean by using the classic mountain metaphor. The pursuit of God is like climbing a great mountain. What was happening was that I was progressing up the Mountain in the morning and most of the day, but then sliding down the mountain in the evening. When I exchanged evening tv with praying and reading or just spending time talking with my family, I noticed, even after a week, that I started gaining traction. It was no longer two steps forward one back. Or two steps forward and two back! It was all upward and onward to the Mountain of knowing the heart of God!
Some of you might not even watch tv. The point is to be aware of areas in your life when time is wasted. It might be scrolling on social media or watching dumb YouTube videos. Or online shopping. It might be sports radio or video games. Or you just stay constantly busy with work or “important” projects. It’s not that all of these things are bad and we should never do them, I’m just asking you to be aware of how you spend your time. In order to climb the Mountain of God we must fully harness the time we have been given.
One small practical challenge for you is to try tracking your time for a week. When we track how we spend our time (or money!) we often can’t believe it. Awareness is always step one before we can really orient our lives around the pursuit of God. Praying for you all!