Have you ever experienced awkward silence in conversation with someone? It’s when both people can’t think of anything to say and neither feels comfortable about the silence. Usually one starts a sentence, not knowing what they’ll say but they just speak out, “So, yeah, um, um.” It’s terrible right? Some people hate awkward silence so much that they just keep babbling about whatever random thing they can think of to say. I personally think it’s nice when two people can be silent with each other and it’s not awkward at all.
In our conversations with God it’s not too different. Since we don’t hear God audibly or even see Him with our eyes, it can seem like He’s silent. If we don’t know what to say we might just ramble about anything that pops into our mind. Or maybe we have no words and just feel awkward that we have nothing to say. What should we say to God?
In human relationships, I find that conversation flows best when I know the person I’m talking with well and share similar interests and viewpoints. We call this having chemistry with someone. How does this work in our relationship with the Lord? God is so different from us that it feels daunting to converse with Him. What am I going to tell Him He doesn’t already know? He already knows my inner thoughts. Shall I tell Him about what I’m learning in the Bible? He knows it already. What can I contribute to the conversation that would be meaningful to Him?
If we only pray on the fly or only for very short sessions, like 5-10 minutes, we can fill the time easily enough. But how do we fill 1-2 hours of prayer? What in the world would we talk to God about if we had an entire day set apart to pray? Would we run out of words in the first 30 minutes?
Sabbatical praying
About seven years ago I took my first sabbatical. In the months leading up to it, I was planning and dreaming of all the various things I was going to do during this 3 month time off from pastoring. I get a little crazy with productivity so I was determined to squeeze the most out of this gift of time off. The Lord just watched me make more and more plans until it was as if He said, “Are you done? Now let me show you what you are going to do.”
The Lord started giving me a vision of how to spend my days. He basically crumpled up all my productivity “get er done” lists and invited me to just be with Him. At first, I was really uncertain about this and I kept thinking, “Yeah, but, what do I do?” The Lord dried up every single ambition I had and was saying, “Walk with Me.”
He reminded me of what I did when I was a new Christian and I wasn’t in ministry. On my days off I would walk around the city or a park with trails. I’d bring a few snacks, a bottle of water, a Bible, a notebook, maybe another book or two, and just walk. As I’d walk I would talk to God about things I saw around me.
I would then pause at various points under a tree or out in an open field or by the water. These would be times of more concentrated communion. Especially since I was a new Christian, I found that I often ran out of words. The Lord taught me that when I go blank it’s okay. It doesn’t have to be an awkward silence. Sometimes it’s nice just to be with Him and be quiet in His presence. But too much silence didn’t make me feel connected to Him so I tried to figure out how I could come up with more to talk about with Him.
Reservoir of language
The answer—as many of you probably guessed—was the Bible! I started realizing that the Bible is filled with psalms and prayers and promises that we can pray back to the Lord. I realized that prayer and Bible reading did not always have to be two separate things. With my Bible open, I started reading very slowly, pausing after a sentence, or even a single word and then praying about it. I discovered that there are thousands of prompts to spark conversation!
Not only did this way of using Scripture help me to be able to pray for longer periods of time but it also kept me in tune with the character and purposes of the Lord. Without the Word of God, we easily slip into praying selfishly and just wishing for earthly things. The Bible taught me the language of prayer and steered my prayers toward the glory of God.
I encourage you to try this. I don’t think I’m the only one that sometimes runs out of words in prayer. Have the Word in front of you. Find a prayer. Maybe Moses or David. Jeremiah has great prayers. Habakkuk. Job. Paul the Apostle has many. Jesus, of course, like John 17. The psalms are essentially prayers in song so that’s a great place to start, like Psalm 139 or Psalm 63. Again, read slowly. After a sentence or part of a sentence, stop and pray about it.
This is one of the greatest ways to learn to pray. It’s like being discipled by the men and women of the Bible! If you start doing this daily and build up to 1-2 hours a day, it will transform you.
Long term effects
It’s a big mistake to always look for the lightning bolt encounter with God that will permanently alter us and make us holy. Those moments happen, of course, but 99% of the time it is a slow steady road of quiet communion with God through the Word.
As you do this, day after day, year after year, the Word of God begins to grow within. The Word is likened to a seed in Scripture. It’s planted within us. It takes root and grows. Each verse we parked at through the years and had a conversation with the Lord about becomes a memory. We develop not just a relationship with the verse but it’s something we experienced with God. We remember that He spoke something fresh, or convicted us, or embraced us. We remember how the Word inspired action of some sort. Or moved us to weep.
All this feeds into our present prayer life. It’s like getting together with someone you know really well. Like I did a zoom call with my friend Shane who lives in Austin—Hi Shane, Edna, Daniel and Sofia! I have known Shane for 30 years and we have talked, prayed, ministered and shared meals together countless times through the years. So when we talk, an hour flies by! I mean really zips by. We could easily talk 4-5-6 hours—without worrying about awkward silence ha!
This is exactly what happens in our relationship with the Lord through the Word. Since my walk began in 1989 I have had thousands upon thousands of times talking to the Lord about things in the Word. There’s a history of relationship with God that I can draw from in my present conversation. Try it today.