Growing up in the 1970s was not always easy. It was a decade when kids could be really mean. Maybe this could be said of every decade, but I remember how hard it was to find a good friend. Occasionally though, “the stars would align,” and I found someone who seemed to understand me, whom I could be totally open with. Having a good friend sweetens the whole life.
Thinking back on what made certain friendships close, several things come to mind. It was always a pleasure to be with the person; it was never a chore. Good friends would listen carefully to me going on and on about all of my youthful woes. It felt like my pain was their pain. They were always excited if I succeeded in something or got something fun for Christmas. A good friend would call me out on things, but it was pretty easy to receive because I felt secure in my friendship with them. Being around a close friend who believed in me made me feel like I could do anything. I always felt free to be myself.
Close friendship is what God wants to have with us. Now, we have to always keep in view that God is our Father and the King of Glory and the Almighty Creator who is Holy. But amazingly, this God who is who He is, desires to have friendship with us! Consider this verse from Genesis, quoted by James:
"Abraham believed God…" and he was called a friend of God.
—James 2:23
Have you ever desired to be someone’s friend but for whatever reason it wasn’t reciprocated? The person just doesn’t seem interested. Or the person has trust issues and misinterprets the nice things you do for them as having an ulterior motive. Or maybe the person does hang out with you, but they keep their heart clam shut and keep conversation at a surface level. I’m not sure I’d use the word frustrating for this experience, but it’s just painful.
Perceptions
I wonder how God would describe our relationship with Him? I think for many people who identify as Christians they are very guarded around God. What I mean is that they believe in God but aren’t sure if they want to get too close. Their perception of God makes them afraid to come near. In some cases, they secretly distrust God and think He may take something away from them that they love. They don’t open up to God because they feel like maybe He will scold them (they forget God already knows everything).
Can you see how this kind of perception of God can affect our pursuit of God? It causes us to dread praying. If we do pray it makes our prayers shallow. We are nervous around Him. We want to get in, make our requests, and get out—before He starts talking! Some of us actually want to be close with God but are convinced that He isn’t interested. You know, He’s got other really cool spiritual people and angels to hang out with. He doesn’t want friendship with weak losers like us.
Whatever the reasons are that keep us from friendship with God they are all lies. The very reason God created us was for the purpose of knowing and enjoying Him for eternity. We are made for loving God. He longs for us to come near. I love these words of Jesus to His disciples:
Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.
—John 15:13-15
I’ve heard preached many times the part where Jesus says, “You are my friends IF (said with biting tone) you do what I command you.” It’s usually in a rebuking kind of way. Yes, it is true that if we are disobedient and disloyal to Jesus He won’t call us friends. Why would He? We wouldn’t call someone a friend who isn’t, well, a friend. That’s how friendship works. It doesn’t mean Jesus doesn’t want to be friends with someone who isn’t a friend. Think of His desire for friendship with the unfriendly-to-God Laodicean Christians (Rev 3).
I think we are missing the beauty of these verses when we package them up as a threat about disobedience. These words were spoken toward the end of His three long years with the Twelve. They ate together and traveled all over the region together. They camped out and sat around fires. They shared hundreds of meals together. They wept together. They learned together. The disciples (except one) were totally devoted to Christ at this point. The words of Jesus were words of deep affirmation!
Hi Mo
Okay one more passage I want to show you about God’s friendship with Moses. This one really gets to me when I think about it. Let’s read it first:
Thus the LORD used to speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend. When Moses turned again into the camp, his assistant Joshua the son of Nun, a young man, would not depart from the tent. —Exodus 33:7-11
Did you catch that subtlety? It doesn’t say that Moses spoke to God the way a man speaks to a friend. Read it again. It doesn’t say that. It says, the Lord spoke to Moses the way a man speaks to a friend. Wow! I’m sure Moses spoke that way too, but I love that this verse puts the emphasis on how the Lord spoke.
Can you imagine that? Being so comfortable and at rest with the Lord that He’s sharing secrets with you as a friend. This is what the pursuit of God is all about. It’s so easy as Christians to reduce the Christian faith to a moral code of ethics. Or we focus only on human relationships. God did not create us primarily to serve others or to just be good people. We are made to know Him!
In your pursuit of God today, aim to get more real with Him. Don’t just come to Him as though you are conversing with the chief of police or the CEO of a big company. Don’t come to Him nervous that He is going to squash you or thinking He’ll be annoyed that you are wasting his time with petty requests. The Lord longs for you to be a close friend.
Scott A