Reconciling people to God starts with prayer and being with people. It involves serving and listening well. Being winsome and kind. Being an example. But at some point, there must be communication. It is the message of Jesus (the gospel) that changes people—not our niceness.
Lots of people in the world are nice like librarians, sweet moms, the cashier at Dave’s Market, the guy that does the weather on the news, the characters on Yo Gabba Gabba!, the ice cream truck man, and millions of other people. But their niceness does not lead people into a relationship with Jesus Christ. What leads someone into eternal life is the message of truth. There’s no other way.
Now, some people have had the message of Jesus communicated clearly to them, perhaps multiple times, but, for whatever reason, they choose not to follow. These perhaps need to be persuaded that Christ is worth living for. Some have heard bits and pieces of the gospel message but have a lot of misconceptions about what Christianity is all about. Others are ignorant and just have not had the opportunity to hear the truth about Christ. It’s important to discern what category a person is in before we start preaching to them.
Usually, after spending some time with a person, it becomes clear what category they are in. If it isn’t clear—some people are super private about their thoughts about God—we can try asking some questions. Most people are okay with questions if we ask them if we can ask them a question. We can ask what they think about God. Or if they attended church growing up. Was it a good experience? Ask how they feel about Christians. Have they ever read the Bible? What do you think happens after we die?
I’m not saying to spring deep questions on people when you first meet them. These are questions we might ask someone we’ve gotten to know, who feels comfortable with us. Basic intuition will let us know if a question is appropriate or if it’s way too much too quickly. If we ask a question and the person is instantly resistant, here’s what to do—back off. Respect their space if they don’t want to engage. Nobody likes to be pushed into an uncomfortable conversation.
Don’t assume
Through the years I’ve often made the mistake of assuming a person had no interest in God. I admit I have sized people up by their outward behaviors and concluded that they are not open to the gospel. We are profoundly affected by outward appearances. But even when a person acts like he or she would be the last person to be curious about the Christian faith, sometimes they are. We really don’t know what people are thinking about when they are alone. So it’s good to ask questions.
Sometimes underneath an arrogant person’s strong opinions lies serious doubts. They know they will die someday, and they aren’t sure what’s going to happen. This fear of death gnaws at more people than we realize.
Fools rush in
These are delicate matters that we should handle with care. Conversations about weighty spiritual questions shouldn’t be rushed into. However, they also shouldn’t be avoided.
Think about the people in your life that you are pretty sure are not deeply rooted in Christ. Jesus said we can recognize those who are genuine by their fruits. In other words, we can usually identify a true follower of Jesus by their words and actions. Some people are hard to figure out, and only God sees motives. But the fact is, we are surrounded by a great many people who show no tangible evidence of being in relationship with Christ.
How can we communicate this life-changing message of Jesus with them?
Besides direct spoken communication, we can invite them to a church service. We can write to them. We can give them a good book like Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis or What is the Gospel? by Greg Gilbert. We can invite them to come to a small group Bible study or a creative event at the church. There is no one-size-fits-all approach. The timing and the means of communicating is different for each person.
Sensitive society
Now, we live in a society that has become ultra-sensitive to any kind of religious belief being pushed on them. It’s called, “proselytizing,” and it’s a big unspoken “no no.” Even gentle pushing can elicit a reaction. Pushing isn’t helpful and can actually lead to a person closing their heart to us completely. It’s best when dealing with most people to ask them if they might be interested in a particular resource, rather than just sending it to them. Here’s some good advice: Don’t give secular people a Christian book for their birthday.
People aren’t dumb. They know what we are doing when we ask them questions or invite them to church. They can tell that we are excited about what we believe and we want them to believe what we believe—and to abandon what they believe! In other words—let’s just say it plainly—we want to convert them. I know that it seems unwise to reveal our intention, but here’s the kicker—they already know it. I think it’s better to just be honest. That’s what the Apostle Paul did. He said to King Agrippa, “I would to God that not only you but also all who hear me this day might become as I am.” Ponder that. Paul was open about wanting everyone to be the recipient of the grace he so treasured.
I’ll admit it right here and now—I want all people in Rhode Island to know and enjoy Jesus Christ. In fact, everyone on the planet. Yes, that means I want people to abandon what they believe and put their faith in Christ alone. I want those who live in ways contrary to the teachings of Christ, to stop, and to live according to the will of God.
There’s no pretending this isn’t offensive. We are telling people that what they have believed for 20-30-70 years is a lie. We are saying that the faith of their parents and ancestors is a lie and cannot save them in the end. We are saying that all religious roads do not lead to heaven—there’s only one mediator between God and people—Jesus! We need to understand just how offensive our message is.
Thoughtful
Let’s say you are an architect who has expertise in assessing foundations of buildings. You move into a new house and start getting to know the neighbors. The man next door, you find out, built his own house and poured enormous time and energy into making it beautiful over the years. It looks nice and the owner is quite proud of his achievement. But you can see that the ground is sinking and there are already several cracks in the foundation. It’s only a matter of time before the structure crumbles—and because it’s a large house—it could be dangerous.
What would you do? Telling the man his house is going to crumble and collapse at some point is not an easy conversation to have. It would be wise to get to know the neighbor first so your message is coming from a trusted friend and not a random stranger. Wouldn’t we all want to be told difficult information by a loving friend?
It reminds me of the many emails I get as a pastor from self-proclaimed prophets who spew condemnation on me. They don’t even know me. They’ve never heard me preach. They’ve never been to the church. And I’ve never heard of them. They don’t even bother introducing themselves and giving some kind of context. They don’t tell me that we have a mutual friend. They are random strangers. At best, I’ll skim the content. But usually I dismiss it. Why? I don’t know them and don’t trust them.
So we do need to communicate the message of Jesus but need to do it thoughtfully, understanding how loaded the message is. May God give us wisdom in this daunting task of communicating the message of Jesus to those around us who are spiritually lost.