I can’t remember the last time I felt so depleted. The last few days have been a blur as I’ve been back and forth to the hospital supporting someone close to me (they are back home now and doing well). All this started on Saturday evening, and I landed back home from the E.R. about 2 am, and then rose early to prepare to preach my Sunday sermon. To add to the stress my daughter had her drivers test the next day that I promised to accompany her in (she did it!). I managed to write my 100 Day letters in spare moments. Last night I wrote it in the E.R. with the sounds of medical equipment, health professionals coming in and out, and some guy screaming and swearing a few doors down. For about 48 hours everything was flipped upside down.
Crisis
I’m sure you’ve had times like this as well when a crisis suddenly crashes upon you. Whatever you had planned for that day, or week, is thrown out the window. Maybe you were planning on writing in your journal for an hour? Well, that didn’t happen. Or maybe you were planning on reading a few chapters of your favorite Tozer book? That didn’t happen either. Whatever plans you had to spend time with the Lord simply cannot happen. Not only is there no time to pursue God, but you are so consumed with the details of the situation at hand that you can barely think about God.
I’m talking about times when the bottom falls out of our nice routine that includes time to pursue the Lord. For example, someone we love gets in a serious car accident. Or, a family member suddenly dies of an overdose. Some of you have experienced housefires or have had to evacuate because of flooding. I think about catastrophes like tsunamis, earthquakes and tornadoes that catapult people into crisis mode. What was it like for people who had friends or family who worked in the NYC Trade Towers when they fell? I think of how normal life of Jewish families was completely overturned during the Holocaust. Or, how about the life of a nurse serving in a hospital at Pearl Harbor after the bombing?
God pursues us
Most of us may never experience these more devastating disruptions of our lives, but we will all have times when we are tumbling down a hill at a dizzying speed. We all have times when we cannot pursue the Lord. You may wonder where I’m going with all this. So many of my letters to you have been exhortations pushing you to be more devoted. We need to be pushed and stirred, but today I want to remind you of something we too easily forget—God pursues us.
You see, sometimes we get the feeling like we are holding this relationship with God together. In other words, we feel like if we let up in our pursuit, then, the Lord will drift away. And we even have Scripture to back up these feelings. For example—
Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. (James 4:8)
Bad interpretation
We interpret this to mean that if we draw near to God, then—and only then—will He draw near to us. So we think that on a particular day or week that we aren’t drawing near to Him—because of whatever crazy thing is happening in our life—then the Lord withdraws from us.
But I don’t think this verse was meant to be applied for a particular day, but it’s more of a promise to those who generally seek the Lord as a lifestyle. If we are the kind of people who delight to draw near to God on most days, then the Lord will draw near to us. If we aren’t interested in pursuing God, the Lord doesn’t force His nearness upon us.
Especially in trouble
What I’m trying to say, friends, is that if the general tone of your life is to constantly draw near to God, then He will constantly draw near to You. And He will especially draw near to you when you are experiencing so much trouble that you can barely draw near to Him.
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. (Psalm 46:1)
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. (Psalm 145:18)
Again, I don’t think the Lord was saying that He is near to us in a time of trouble only if we call upon Him in the trouble. Now, it’s good to cry out to the Lord in trouble. I’m not at all saying we shouldn’t pray in times of crisis. I’m just making the point that if we are too distraught, too overwhelmed, too depleted—the Lord God will draw near to us. He will carry us during those times.
With us in the panic
Every once in a while I have anxiety attacks. If you’ve never experienced this, just know it’s not merely feeling really stressed out; everyone gets stressed at times. Anxiety attacks have been described as an “adrenaline overload.” If we were walking through the woods and suddenly surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves, our bodies would release adrenaline. Our heart rate would soar, and we’d take on what has been called a “fight or flight” response. God designed all this to help us in extreme situations. An anxiety attack, however, happens when there is no danger at all, but suddenly your mind is free falling and your body is responding as if about to be eaten by one of those angry dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. It’s a really strange experience.
A few months ago I had one of these attacks. There’s really no way to stop them. They only last maybe ten minutes or so—though it feels longer! Sometimes I’m able to squeak out a “Jesus, help me” or two. But usually the combination of mental and physical chaos is such that all I can do is let it take me down it’s current of terror. It’s like going over a waterfall—don’t even bother trying to swim the other way. This one I had a few months ago was so bad that I really couldn’t pray. But guess what? The Lord drew near to me. He even gave me verses of Scripture visually. Because my mind was racing the visual cut through. I knew the verses well and knew exactly what they meant. The Lord was letting me know He had me. They were these verses from Psalm 91:
“Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.” (Psalm 91:14-16)
I will be with you
I’m certainly not alone in experiencing the Lord drawing near when completely out of strength. I’m sharing this today with no special exhortation to do anything. I just want you to remember that the Lord does not abandon you in your worst moments. He doesn’t turn away in disgust because we are so consumed by our trouble that we cannot pray. Rather, He draws near. He surrounds us with His presence. He releases peace that passes understanding.
I think many of you know exactly what I’m talking about. During a time when you were thrown into a crisis you didn’t fall apart. The peace of God was thick upon your heart. The Lord hid you under the shadow of His wing until the storm passed. You may not have sought Him in that time—but He sought you. Just remember that this is the kind of Shepherd He is.
David reminds himself of this in Psalm 23 when he says, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me …” If we find ourselves on a deathbed with only drops of life remaining in us and no ability to pursue Him—He will be pursuing us and surrounding us with peace. Selah.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. (Isaiah 43:2)