Am I making any progress in this pursuit? Am I growing in my relationship with God? Has all this effort brought me closer to the Lord? How do I even know if I’m growing?
Maybe you’ve thought of these questions at times. I have. It can be really discouraging when we are putting forth effort but not perceiving our progress, right? I’m not talking about just spiritual things—this applies to anything! Nobody likes to do something that isn’t working.
Measuring progress
The challenge of assessing our relationship with God is that it’s a little abstract. I mean, it’s a relationship, and relationships are hard to assess. It’s not like there’s a scale we can get on that tells us what level our prayer life is at. That would be pretty cool though—wow, up seven pounds! 370! But it’s just not like that. Our relationship with the Lord is so complex that it’s extremely difficult to measure.
Not only is it difficult to measure but growth tends to be slow and delayed. In other words, our pursuit of God today may not have an immediate effect. It might be more like a small amount of money invested that takes years to see a significant return on.
Flowers
Flowers, for example, do not come from Trader Joe’s. They come from small seeds that are put into the dark ground. They actually don’t look like much for a while. The next day after planting it looks the same; it looks like dirt. The next day after it still looks like dirt. It looks like dirt for many days. But something is happening under the surface. Progress is being made beyond what we can perceive.
Eventually, a little growth of green pushes through and appears. But it’s so lame. It seems to halt its growth. Wait, no, it is growing. But so slow! It’s growing so slowly that we barely detect progress. But as the stems extend toward the heavens, buds form, and in time they bloom and become something beautiful and fragrant. Throughout Scripture our relationship with God is described as something we grow in.
Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen. (2 Peter 3:18)
Knowledge
When the Bible speaks of knowledge it’s not just head knowledge. Even someone who isn’t a Christian could learn a systematic theology textbook inside and out. Anyone can memorize the Westminster Catechism. Theological accuracy is very important, obviously, but the knowledge of God is attained only by walking with God. It’s similar to knowing my wife. Even if I read 100 books written about her, it wouldn’t compare to what I know of her from 31 years walking together.
Intimacy with God, just like any relationship, takes time. It is forged through a variety of experiences. It is shaped through consistent daily connection. Progress is slow and hard to measure. But as we tend to the relationship day after day by watering it with prayer and the Word, eventually it buds and blooms! Flowers appear! You realize that you are hearing His voice. You realize that you are understanding His heart. You realize that you have a history with Him. You realize you can spend hours in prayer quite effortlessly. You realize your love for God is growing and your vision of Christ is expanding. The dots are connecting and a prayer language has formed. It all happens so gradually but one day you wake up and realize—I know God.
Miracle grow
There’s no such thing as Miracle Grow with spiritual things. Maybe that’s not the best analogy because of the word “miracle” in this strange product that makes plants and flowers grow quicker. Spiritual growth is miraculous, but it just doesn’t come quickly. For anyone. Don’t let anyone fool you.
I’m not saying a brand new Christian isn’t transformed and in love with Jesus. That happens, praise to God! But depth of relationship takes time. A young couple who meet and fall in love on a cruise, and then drive straight to Vegas to get married when they hit the shore, may have genuine love. But it’s shallow. Not shallow in a bad way, just undeveloped. Intimacy is like a good wine aged over time. There’s literally no way to obtain the depth and richness of flavor quickly.
Daily tending
There’s no substitute for daily tending to the garden of prayer. We went for a walk this afternoon on this beautiful spring day at nearby Conimicut Beach. We enjoy walking along the street with all the houses on the water. We make comments about each house as we pass it. This is what we do for fun. I told you I’m boring. There’s one house that has an oversized front yard that is like a garden wonderland. Guess what the owners were doing when we passed by? They weren’t watching tv. They weren’t napping. They were in the yard tending away. They are always in the yard when we pass by. You can’t buy a gorgeous garden at Home Depot. Even if a landscaper installs one for you—you still have to tend to it daily or everything will die.
The only way to bloom in our relationship with God is by steady cultivation. Just like gardening, it’s not always exciting. If you want a prayer life that is bursting with flowers then here’s the secret: pray. I’m not being a wise guy, I mean it. There are no shortcuts. The only way to grow deep in prayer is by constant practice.
Chef’s Table
So many things in life work this way. Success rarely springs up quickly, and when it does spring up quickly it often dies quickly because the roots are shallow.
When I watch Chef’s Table I am out of my mind inspired. I really love food, and I enjoy cooking (or trying to cook). After watching an episode I race to the kitchen stirred to create a dish that will probably cause the creators of Chef’s Table to feature my cooking next season. But, the reality is, I’m not a star chef. I’m a dad who at best makes a mean taco. I’ve not devoted my life to the culinary arts as these Michelin star chefs have.
I think of how these chefs will work with dough to the point of obsession until they master it. They linger at markets and build relationships with farmers. They read books. They experiment at work and at home. They think about food constantly. They become accomplished by constant practice. There are no shortcuts.
Flowers will appear
Be encouraged today. You are doing it. I know you aren’t doing it perfectly. I’m not either. But we are doing it. We are praying. We are calling out to the Lord as best we can. Our language is feeble and our discipline is sloppy. But we keep showing up. Just keep watering your prayer life. In due season, it will bloom. Don’t overanalyze your progress. I’m pretty sure most flowers don’t realize they are growing. And they don’t toil and fret about it. They just face the sun and drink the water. You are growing. You just don’t see it. In time flowers will appear. They always do.