My earliest memories of thinking about God were at about seven years old. We were living in Enfield, Connecticut in a neighborhood with humble ranch houses that each had spacious yards. My yard had a small pool, a giant sandbox, a tin shed, plenty of lounge chairs for making forts in the summer, and a willow tree.
I remember lying on my back with a friend in the lush grass across the street where the yard sloped. We were gazing at the puffy clouds that looked like massive clusters of cotton candy moving across the blue sky. It appeared to me as utterly beautiful, and I wondered who made such beauty. I had heard about God, but now I was dreaming of what He was like.
The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. Day to day pours out speech, and night to night reveals knowledge. There is no speech, nor are there words, whose voice is not heard. —Psalm 19:1-3
Glory in art
Another place I thought about God was during my duties serving as an altar boy in the local Catholic Church we attended. I would be dropped off extremely early. I’m not sure what time it was, but it felt like 4am, and I was in a dreamlike state. The donuts always woke me up a bit. The church was so quiet, and no one talked. The other altar boys didn’t talk, I think because they were tired. The priest never talked either. So the experience felt like solitude. The Mass was over my head; the voice of the priest reminded me of how the adults sounded to Charlie Brown. My attention was fixed on the morning sun coming through the stained glass windows. I stared at them, and I especially stared at the faces of Jesus. “Who is He?” I wondered.
Glory in the stars
Another transcendent experience at that age was the very long drive from our house in Connecticut to Syracuse, New York, to visit our relatives. I was an only child until I was nine so the only thing to do—this is way before iPhones and handheld video games—was to look out the window at the stars. Time goes by slowly when you’re a kid so the four hour drive felt much longer. I wondered and wondered as I gazed. Finally, I’d start asking my dad—who studied philosophy at S.U.—questions about the universe. My little kid mind would be blown listening to him talking about the vastness of space, eternity and infinity. I realized in those moments how much bigger God was than me.
Glory?
One of the most frequently used words in the Bible is “glory.” Because the word isn’t used much in normal language, and when it’s used it’s used differently, it can take a while to understand this biblical concept. When we speak of the “glory of God” we are referring to the display, expression or manifestation of who God is. For example, as in the verse above, the beautiful sky that we look at is a display that tells us something about who God is—creative, powerful, wise, beautiful.
But it’s not just creation that displays the glory of God. It’s all His works. Miracles show His glory. The life of Jesus shows God’s glory. The transformation of the heart of a person shows God’s glory. The unity of believers shows God’s glory. The birth of a child, romantic love, art and music, human personality, and many other works of God, all show us what He’s like. They declare God to be good, beautiful, creative, powerful, holy, majestic, kind, merciful. The greatest manifestation of the glory of God was the life, death and resurrection of Jesus!
And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. —John 1:14
Ache
There’s something in us as humans that aches to see the glory of God. In other words, we know that God is up there but we want the veil to be removed. We long to behold something of His essence, His nature, His character. I found myself desiring deeply to know the “One Behind the Curtain” at about seven. But, honestly, it was probably much younger. We all have these moments we can look back on when we became aware that we are not alone in the universe, that there is a God.
Design
This groaning to know the one who made us has to do with our unique design. We come into this world and realize pretty quickly that something isn’t right. We experience hate, injustice, fighting, illness, fear, danger, pain. We have pets that die, or relatives. Of course, adults trying to keep us calm just tell us “that’s life” and act like we should just consider all this mess normal. But kids are smart, they know better, something is broken with this world.
It is in our very DNA as humans to worship God. There’s something in us that is built for worship. Humans naturally devote themselves to someone or something. Everyone does it. The object of our worship may be a person, or a dream, or material wealth, or beauty, or ourselves. But everyone worships something. It’s part of our design. We need something to worship to feel alive.
Now, sadly, we often turn away from God and turn to things created as objects of worship. The reasons we do this are complex, and we won’t explore that now. But what happens to many people is that they try out a variety of different gods until they come to a point of exhaustion. They realize their gods don’t satisfy this one particular ache right in the center of their soul. They still feel empty, incomplete. So they search. For many, they return to childlike wonder and begin thinking about God again.
Moses
This all brings me to one of my very favorite prayers in the Bible. It is prayed by Moses not long after the children of Israel foolishly made a golden calf and worshipped it. This all happened when Moses was up on the mountain in the presence of the Lord. This was the time when the Lord gave Moses the Ten Commandments written with the finger of God. You can read about this story in Exodus 32.
In chapters 32, 33 and 34 you see glimpses of the prayer life of Moses. The wrath of God burned against the children of Israel for their idolatry but Moses cried for mercy. You see him reasoning with God, pleading. There was a friendship with God from spending years in the desert and months on the mountain in communion with the Lord. We see him at the Tent of Meeting lingering long and hard in prayers. When he emerged from his conversations with God his face glowed!
Moses was one of the greatest men of God who ever walked the face of the earth. Scripture says he was the meekest man alive at that time. He went up onto the mountain and a cloud of glory descended upon him. The Lord spoke to him in a burning bush, and the Lord burned the commandments upon stone before his eyes. Moses did spectacular signs and wonders like the dividing of the Red Sea to deliver millions of His people from slavery in Egypt.
And the LORD said to Moses, "This very thing that you have spoken I will do, for you have found favor in my sight, and I know you by name." —Exodus 33:17
The Lord was with Moses, God’s favor was upon Moses, miracles were done by the hand of Moses, Moses was the friend of God—God knew Moses by name! Here’s a man who we’d think has arrived at the height of relationship with God. But despite all that Moses was and had in God—he still makes this cry:
Moses said, "Please show me your glory." —Exodus 33:18
Show me Your glory? What? Moses, you’ve seen more of God’s glory than any man who ever lived. Haven’t you seen enough?
Why?
This is the strange thing that I want to tell you today: the more of God’s glory you see, the more you will want to see more. Have you ever wondered why? Lord, help me to explain this!
Here’s what happens. We come to a solid understanding of Christian doctrines but still groan because we see through darkened glass. We are happy and successful in life. We know God’s favor. But still this longing churns in us to see His glory—to see more of His glory. What is underneath this perpetual cry is that we want to see and touch the reality of this God who made us—who we will spend eternity with! The pursuit of His glory isn’t because we doubt Him. It’s not just mere curiosity. It’s deeper than that.
Eternity
In our pursuit of the Lord we eventually come to a place that is similar to what we will experience when we see His face in eternity (Rev 22). Think about it. Sin will be eradicated from our hearts. We will be drenched with joy. All pain will be behind us. We’ll have no fear at all. Our knowledge will no longer be in part (1 Corinth 13). But instead of taking a nap on a cloud because we have arrived—no!—we will find ourselves burning to see more of the inexhaustible glory of God. We will burn to know His majesty and splendor in greater ways. We will, in fact, never come to the end of the excellencies and wonders of the Lord throughout all eternity.
And listen. We will always desire to worship Him more fully. The reason we want to see more of His glory is that we are designed to worship. The more awakened we are to the glory of God, the more fully we will worship. This is what we were made for. This is where we are going. This is the desire of the Father and why He designed us the way He did—
But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth." —John 4:23-24
Please!
Lord, I pray that we would see Your glory. Please! We ache for this. We want to see who You are in all Your splendor and greatness. Surely You are 10,000 times more wonderful than we know. Let our thoughts of You not be small and lame. Make us like Moses who bowed his head down to the earth and worshiped. Oh Mighty God consume us! We live in an almost constant dissonance of deficient worship. We cannot seem to worship You in a way that matches Your greatness. I despise myself for passionless worship, Lord. I hate my yawning apathetic adoration of You. It eats me up that I cannot worship You the way You deserve. Show me Your glory! Show us Your glory! Let this generation be a generation that seeks You. Let us be a people in whom the glory of the Lord rests upon. Amen.