In every season at Ren, about ⅓ of the people coming on Sundays are new. They may be brand new as in first timers. Or fairly new as in coming just recently. There are also many who I humorously call “church shoppers”. These are people who are doing the circuit of local churches to find that perfect fit. So they come one week and then we’ll see them again 5 weeks later. This shopping around is normal and I'd do the same thing if I moved to a new city. Finding the right church can be a little overwhelming and it's especially challenging if you are a person who has never been involved in church culture. Here are a few things that I think can help.
Start by reading the websites of churches you are interested in. You'd be surprised at just how much information you’ll find. But also realize that not every good church has a great website. This makes them harder to find so don't lean entirely on websites.
Because there are no perfect churches, determine what is most important to you. For example, maybe the preaching or the worship. Maybe a developed kids program or youth ministry. Maybe opportunities for local outreach. Or maybe even things like close proximity because you don't have a car. Knowing clearly what you want will help tremendously in the process of searching.
Understand the doctrine and ethos that is important to you. Not all churches are the same, obviously. Each church has a slightly different doctrine. Some are more into the gifts of the Spirit as an emphasis. Some are more reformed in theology. Others are more seeker sensitive. Others teach through the Bible verse by verse. There are some churches that lean left and some right politically. And some that are a mix. Culture varies as well, with some churches quiet and intellectual and others wild and expressive. What is important to you?
Perhaps the greatest question to ask is “Where does God want me?” That's a good thing to be praying but I am not suggesting that getting an answer will be so simple. Sometimes God seems to plainly tell us what to do but I've noticed that often times he lets us choose. Or he gently guides us through the process of coming to our own conclusion of where we should be.
While we should ask God to lead us, I think practically it's a good idea to ask other people we know for recommendations. I tell people moving to a new city to ask the folks who work at the local Christian bookstore about good local churches. They usually know.
When checking out a church, don't be afraid to let the pastor and other church leaders know that you are shopping around. Sometimes the fear is that you'll become the object of constant sales pitches of why their church is the best. Well, I can't promise that won't happen but I am one pastor who won't do that. I'm friends with many local pastors and I'd be happy to direct you to their churches if it seems like a better fit.
My last thought is more of a caution. With literally hundreds of churches in the Providence area the reality is that not all are healthy. Some have shaky theology or dilute the more difficult teachings of Jesus. Some churches are legalistic. Others are soft on sin. Others hold a sort of combative posture toward the city. Some churches are just toxic with backbiting, gossip, slander and so on. Life is too short to be involved with churches that will drag you down. All churches are imperfect and because they are open to the public it means that sinful broken people will be present. But look for healthy leadership. There are many wonderful local churches with healthy church leaders to choose from!
I'm writing all this because I've noticed through the years that this process of finding a church home can be grueling for many. I've watched people spend months and even years trying to settle and the longer it takes, the more their spiritual lives can suffer. Some even give up the search entirely and settle for podcasts and occasional concerts. I pray for those of you searching that you'd find a place you can call home, not only for your own benefit but for the blessing of the church you settle in. You are needed!