By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. (John 13:35)
On Saturday, we had a memorial service for a lovely woman named Diane who attended our church for the last few years of her life. She was a tiny little thing with short blonde hair. She usually sat in the second row at the end, and I miss her joyful face.
Diane’s story has a lot to teach us about how to reach people. Across the street from our church is the largest homeless shelter in the city and Diane’s struggles in life resulted in her living at the shelter. She was originally from Walpole, Massachusetts as a wife and mom of three children. We’ll skip the details of how she went from suburban hockey mom to experiencing homelessness, but Diane found herself in her 60’s with little hope.
Coffee outreach
One of the many pre-pandemic ministries in our church was a mobile Sunday morning coffee outreach. A handful of compassionate folks would make coffee and take it across the street to the shelter. On a Sunday morning there are a lot of homeless around the church because we are in the middle of a triangle of shelters. The shelters often release people in the mornings, and they wander the streets. Diane was hanging out in what we call the “women’s courtyard” of the shelter across the street. A few people offered her some coffee, and a conversation began. She was invited to come to a breakfast for women later in the week to learn more about the Bible.
Diane came to the breakfast and had a positive experience with the ladies. The small gathering of women (less than a dozen) was made up of mostly homeless or formerly homeless women. It was led by a couple of very loving women in our church named Jackie and Donna. This weekly gathering became a place to belong for Diane. She started growing in her faith.
Before long, Diane started attending on Sundays, and she’d sit with her friends from the breakfast outreach. She came very consistently and seemed to soak up the presence of God. It was all over her. She especially loved the music. And always seemed captivated by the preaching.
No idea
Now, I have to confess that I didn’t know Diane very well. We said hi to each other, but we never had a lengthy conversation. I really wish I had gotten to know her. I didn’t know her story at all. And I had no idea till recently how deeply impacted she was by the church.
After she died, the daughter, Corey, who lives in Texas, reached out to ask about doing a memorial service. One of her sons named Kevin who lives in Boston came to one of our services shortly afterward. Kevin communicated to me just how much his mom was transformed by the community. To be honest, I thought he was just being nice and saying what he thought I wanted to hear. Kevin came a few more times to the church, and I also met with him. Seeing his mom so transformed by Christ caused him to be intrigued about the church that saved his mom.
Memorial service
At the memorial service, many of Diane’s family members and friends came to celebrate her life. Most of them were not professing or serious Christians. Kevin shared some stories about his mom, and I was shocked when he went on and on about the role our church played in Diane’s life. Though Kevin is still figuring out his faith and is what I might call a “seeker”—he was proclaiming the power of Jesus and His church! It was pretty awesome.
After the service, people kept on coming up to me saying things like, “I’m not even of the Christian faith, but I want you to know that Diane raved about this church, and it had a huge impact on her. You are doing a good thing.” I had so many wonderful conversations with people about Christ. There was an openness because their impression of the church was so positive.
It’s funny that no one mentioned that my “great” preaching impacted her—ha! Preaching is powerful, but it is the love of God manifested in a church that transforms people. In fact, a clever, articulate, animated sermon without love will sound like a clanging cymbal in someone’s ear.
Love disarms
In the verse above, Jesus tells us that love amongst the people of God will have a deep effect upon people outside the faith. Love is to be the distinguishing mark. Some have described this as the “great apologetic.” In other words, nothing persuades people more, of the reality and truth of Christ’s message, than love displayed. Someone can argue with the content of a sermon, but love is hard to argue with. Love disarms people. It has a melting effect on hearts.
Go love!
I want to end by giving you a simple exhortation. Be devoted to the local church the Lord has planted you in. Be involved in people's lives. Serve and give extravagantly. Really get to know people. Be transparent about your own struggles. Be compassionate toward others. Do your part in making your church a place of abundant love.
When love in a church community begins to grow and overflow, do you know what happens? Well, the church begins doing things to help others. They begin to care about the homeless and the fatherless. They begin to foster children. They begin to weep over global poverty. They feel burdened by single moms who are crushed with anguish. They start caring for kids with fathers in prison. They start reaching out to forgotten people in nursing homes and they start supporting refugees. When the church starts really walking in love and doing these works of Jesus, it becomes beautiful and attractive. So many people outside the faith view churches as hypocritical, money-grabbing, and ugly. But a church clothed in love resonates with people and makes them interested. May we be filled to overflowing with love for one another in our local churches!