Both of my girls started carrying little journals around with them when they were about four or five. They didn’t just write their thoughts, but they illustrated everything. They also carried glue sticks with them, so they could glue a gum wrapper, a leaf, a movie ticket, or some other found paper or object. After filling the journal, it would usually be twice as fat as it was originally.
As they grew older, the content in the journals evolved. You’ll still find a lot of sketches in their notebooks and scribbled design ideas (one does graphic design, the other, architecture). But the bulk of their journals are filled with spiritual writings—prayers, sermon notes, reflections, quotes. It is the main way they have poured out to God and have listened to His voice. They, of course, read the Scriptures, listen to sermons and worship music, and pray in their minds or with others. But journal writing is their most refined spiritual habit.
Pink and private
I don’t really like the word “journal” because it reminds me of the word “diary,” and I dislike that word even more. Maybe I’m a little bitter at the word actually. When I was a kid, I wouldn’t be caught dead with a diary! Diaries—in my narrow teen boy mind—were strictly for girls. They had tiny locks on them, the covers were made of pink fur and inside was filled with sappy and secret feelings about boys.
I’m jealous of my daughters that they’ve been writing prayers in journals and sketchbooks for as long as they can remember. I didn’t discover the wonder of writing until I was 21 when I began serving Christ. One of the first things I did as a Christian was purchase a Bible. I picked one with huge margins that allowed me to write little comments and prayers next to verses that impacted me.
This led to purchasing a 9 x 11 sketchbook that had blue and gray swirls on its hard cover. I still have it. Most of the pages are notes I took as I listened to sermons on cassette with my Walkman (if you don’t know what a Walkman is, google it). But there are also prayers. I would usually find a corner booth at Denny’s diner, sip on coffee, and write a long letter to God. Each time I did this I sensed the presence of God in a way that felt like He was participating in the process.
Fast forward 30 years
In that first year of my walk with Jesus, I think I filled the sketchbook. I wasn’t writing daily but maybe once a week or every couple of weeks. Now, over 30 years later, I write several hours a day and have filled about 250 notebooks. There’s nothing I enjoy more than my time—with coffee—in a quiet space, writing prayers and reflections. That same sense of God’s presence I felt when I first started writing has stayed with me.
You’re probably wondering where I’m going with this. I realize that those reading this may love the practice of writing and others may not. Some of you may even find writing painful because it’s such a struggle. Maybe you were one of those kids who agonized in school writing essays. Whichever of these describes you doesn’t matter. Please have an open mind. Let me tell you what writing can do for you spiritually. And let me show you that it’s easier than you might think.
Forms
Spiritual writing can take a variety of forms, for example, writing out portions of Scripture or writing a letter (or email) to someone. Another way of spiritual writing is to take notes while listening to a teaching. Or to make a list of things we are thankful for. On the ESV Bible app you can attach notes to each verse which is another good form of spiritual writing. All these are beneficial in different ways, but what I want to highlight is the practice of writing directly to God.
These written prayers to God can be done on your phone or laptop, but I would recommend a good old-fashioned paper notebook and a pen. There’s something undistracting and slow about handwriting your thoughts. Before I give you practical encouragement about how to go about writing to God, I want to persuade you of the value. Those of you who hate writing please read to the end :)
Pavilion
I think of my notebook as a pavilion where God meets me. I’m not just writing about God or writing a letter to a distant God. There’s a sense that He knows what will come out of my pen before it hits the page. That He’s, in fact, present and leading my thoughts. Part of my writing to Him is confessing sins and weaknesses. I’m asking for grace. I also do a lot of spiritual dreaming and planning. Because I’m a pastor, I need to have fresh vision for each season, in order to lead well. But what I strive to write about most is the wonder of God and His glorious works in the world. The goal of spiritual writing is to see God—to know God.
The beautiful thing that happens when writing is that we begin to find rest. A stillness of soul develops and we are able to set our gaze upon Jesus for considerable amounts of time. Tiny prayers throughout our day are awesome, but there’s no substitute for patient waiting and gazing upon Christ. What begins to happen as we wade into the Water is that eternal things become real. We begin to see the kingdom. We hear the whisper of God’s voice. We can sense that our attitudes are being shaped and motives purified.
The writing of prayers is not disconnected from reading the Word. I always have the Word open next to me and often pause to look up various things. Sometimes I may even pause and read an entire book of the Bible. The more familiar we are with the Word, the more our prayers are thread together with Scripture and the overarching Gospel narrative. This process of writing forges the purposes of the Lord into the heart deeper and deeper each day.
During the pandemic I’ve mainly done my writing at home, but pre-pandemic, I sometimes nestled into the corner of one of the many cafes in the Providence area. I suppose people look at me and think I’m just writing a paper of some sort. They have no idea I’m communing with the Living God!
Flashback
Let’s go back to 1989 for a moment and I’ll tell you about what my written prayers were like. If you remember the Dick and Jane books (popular in the 50’s), well, my writing complexity was on par with those—very short sentences. Then, there was my minuscule vocabulary. Grammar that vandalized the English language. Choppy. Confusing. All over the place. But somehow, despite the writings sounding like a kid in first grade—God met me! I didn’t keep writing because my writing was good. I wrote because it brought me near to the Lord.
I’m saying this because too many Christians “write off” writing because they aren’t good at it. But you don’t have to be good. It’s not about articulation. As if God would be impressed with how vast our vocabulary is and how grammatically correct everything is! No, don’t worry about any of that. Many hate writing because 99% of the writing they’ve done in their lives was in school. They had to write something the teacher required, and the paper would be returned covered in—what felt like—hateful red scribbles with a big fat C- or D on the top.
Write to Him alone
Don’t write for anybody. Don’t plan to show anyone what you write. Just write to God and God alone. Don’t worry about being clear—He knows what you’re trying to say. Don’t fuss with sentence structure. Just write like you talk. Forget about your high school English teacher’s rule of making an outline first before writing. Just start writing.
You say, “Write about what?” Anything! Tell God about your day. Tell Him what you’re frustrated about. Tell God what you’re thankful for. Just start writing. Change subjects abruptly if you want. There’s no awkward silence with God, so feel free to pause and think. Ask Him questions. Ask for help. Whatever is inside you just let it come out. Don’t worry if the handwriting is messy or even illegible—God can read it. You don’t need a fancy leather journal with special ties to wrap it up that costs like $100. Get a composition notebook for a buck. Write in a small notebook you can carry in your pocket. Or if you want, write in a giant sketchbook. Write for 60 seconds or an hour or several hours.
Real prayer
When I was a young Christian I heard certain great men of God talk about prayer, and the emphasis was always on prayer marked by these three things: early in the morning, on your knees and earnest.
I’m terrible at all of these.
I’ve never been an early morning person. Ever. I force myself to get up most days, and it takes about an hour for me to really feel awake. I sometimes pray on my knees but rarely. It hurts my knees and just closing my eyes and praying makes it hard for me to concentrate. It’s exhausting. And earnest? about 1% of my prayers are earnest. I’m defining “earnest” as the exertion of physical, emotional, mental pouring out. In groups I sometimes pray like that for effect. At times, I’m overcome with spiritual energy and the power of God moves me to pray vigorously and almost violently. But that’s not the norm, and to try to force that is completely exhausting and would make me dislike prayer.
Sadly, I believed for years that this kind of early morning, on my knees, earnest and loud, praying was the only “real” way to pray. This was super discouraging! Many days I didn’t want to pray early in the morning on my knees and I definitely didn’t have the energy to pray earnestly out loud. So you know what I did? I didn’t pray. But then I’d feel terrible because I knew how important prayer was. With tears I’d think, “Why am I so lazy and lame at prayer?”
Write!
Over time the Lord started showing me that “real” prayer has nothing to do with volume or how much energy we exert. It has nothing to do with our posture. Our eyes don’t have to be closed. It can be quiet. And it can be done with a notebook and a pen. I discovered that a great many saints through the ages kept a prayer journal.
If you already have a habit of writing—keep writing! If you write prayers occasionally but don’t feel it’s any good—know that God loves even the feeblest and grammatically incorrect sincere prayers written to Him. If you hate writing, my encouragement is to just give it a try. I would recommend a very small notebook, and just put something in it each day—even if it’s just a few thoughts, or words, or a choppy confusing rant of sorts, or even if it’s the kind or writing that would make your third grade English teacher angry, because it’s a ridiculously terrible run on sentence, with lots of spelling air errs, that just never seems to end, even, when you think it’s about to end.*
*Note: It’s a good thing to learn how to write better. For one, it will make our letters to people more compelling. The point of my piece today is simply to free you up to just write unfettered and unfiltered to the Father. But it’s a good thing to figure out when to use commas, for example. I’m still learning!
Flannery O’Connor
For a good example of unpolished written prayers with lots of spelling errors try Flannery O’Connor’s A Prayer Journal. She was a wonderful Catholic writer in the mid century era. Though she died at 39 she had a tremendous impact on many other writers. I have been reading her prayer journal and finding so much inspiration. I believe she was just a college student when she wrote these. She was filled with uncertainty about her writing. Sometimes her prayers were trite—which gave me comfort. Some prayers were raw and emotive. I especially adore her sensitive conscience and the way she probed her own heart so ruthlessly. The book contains her words in type but also photographed handwritten pages of her journal. I love that! You see the scribbles and you can see the visual angst. If you struggle to write prayers it would be a good idea to get this book, and some other books, that are just pure prayers to God. Happy writing.