One of my very favorite people growing up was my Aunt Rose (pronounced Ant Rose, by the way). She was one of my many colorful Italian aunts, the sister of my mom. She lived in a charming little house overflowing with thousands of interesting items from the 60’s. She had the most fantastic bouffant hairstyle that looked to me like a delicious stack of pancakes on her head. She was a skinny little woman but could be really tough, like when she’d tell off bad drivers, using words I wasn’t supposed to hear as a child. She was ridiculously generous. She and my grandmother would bring bags and bags of presents at Christmas in those extra large shopping bags from department stores with the loop handles.
I could be “a little devil”—as my grandmother often called me—but Aunt Rose just adored me. Her affection was better than candy as a kid. My favorite memories with her were the times we spent sitting at the little vintage kitchen table, munching on snacks, coloring. We would both be coloring away in coloring books we got at the market—her coloring was always perfect—and she'd be talking with me sweetly about all sorts of things that were important to me. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed it when she bought me treats, but the real joy was just being with her.
Disinterest in prayer
Ever since I began preaching in the early 90’s I sought to motivate people to pray. Hundreds of times, and in a variety of settings, I pleaded with people, young and old, to make prayer a priority. I’ve started prayer meetings and prayer initiatives. I’ve sent countless letters (like this one) attempting to stir people to seek the Lord. And I’ve had thousands of conversations about prayer with people.
It’s a curious thing to me that so many who are Christian don’t have much of a desire to learn to pray. It’s not that there’s no desire at all, but they put very little effort into developing a prayer life. As I’ve talked with people through the years, I've noticed that when the topic of prayer comes up, there is a feeling of guilt. It’s the guilt of feeling that an important duty has been neglected.
When they hear a fiery sermon on prayer it doesn’t really motivate them. Instead, it burdens them with more guilt. Part of the problem is that they think of God as out there in the universe somewhere doing important things but that He has left humans a list of things to do to please Him like work, raise kids, tithe, attend church, and so on. Prayer is just one of many duties on the list. Or it’s something they feel needs to be done to get God to do certain things for them.
Heartbroken
This whole way of thinking about prayer is sad and I can only imagine how the Lord feels about it. Today I want to share what I believe is the most effective motivation in pursuing a deep prayer life. I’m talking about the motivation to bring joy to God’s heart.
I’ve heard many stories through the years of people adopting children. The parents prepare for months and invest quite a bit of money to adopt a child. The days before the child is adopted are filled with excited anticipation. The parents are overflowing with dreams of sharing their lives with the child and bonding with the child. They imagine sitting around the dinner table talking about their days. They picture camping and gazing at the stars as they just enjoy each other’s company. They will laugh and cry together and be a family.
Well, sometimes, it doesn’t quite turn out like that. For whatever reason, he (let’s say it’s a boy) doesn’t nestle into the family. He isn’t rebellious but just withdrawn and doesn’t want to do things with the family. Even when present physically he is somewhere else mentally. Of course, he needs the family to provide shelter and food, and he likes to get gifts at Christmas and birthdays. It’s not that he is incapable of close relationships; he has many close friends. He just isn’t interested in his parents.
Don’t you feel sad for the parents? It’s not that the parents are going to fall apart. It’s not that the kid is a bad kid. The parents still have a good life and they are happy that the boy has friends. But the unfulfilled desire in the parents to be close to their adopted son is heartbreaking. In most cases, parents wouldn’t be angry with the adopted child or feel ripped off. They’d just feel heartbroken.
Pathos of God
There are several portions of Scripture that show an interesting side of God expressing a feeling of hurt. He’s almost like a husband who has a wife who has emotionally abandoned him. Or like a father with a son who betrayed him. The Lord does express anger at times and offers threats of punishment to motivate. These things do motivate us, of course, but these rare expressions in the Word showing God as hurt, well, they really get to you. Here’s one of them in the book of Jeremiah—
"'I said, How I would set you among my sons, and give you a pleasant land, a heritage most beautiful of all nations. And I thought you would call me, My Father, and would not turn from following me. Surely, as a treacherous wife leaves her husband, so have you been treacherous to me, O house of Israel, declares the LORD.'" — Jeremiah 3:19-20
Are you feeling that? The Lord is saying in essence, “My heart was bursting to bring you into the depth of my goodness. My desire was that you would be my children and I would be your loving Father.” We don’t see this side of God very often.
Jesus laments
We see a glimpse of this pathos in Christ as He laments over His people in Jerusalem who rejected Him saying,
O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing! — Luke 13:34
The emotions of Jesus are complex in this scene. Maybe He seemed angry but I believe the dominant emotion was grief, sadness. The Savior was broken-hearted that the people He loved so much were not interested in knowing Him.
These kinds of verses that express the hurt and sadness of God pull at me much more than the many exhortations and admonitions regarding the duty to pray. They make me realize that practicing prayer isn’t just something that appeases God or isn’t just one of a hundred duties to tend to. Prayer is about being with God and bringing joy to Him. There’s a small little verse in the gospels that says,
And he appointed twelve (whom he also named apostles) so that they might be with him and he might send them out to preach — Mark 3:14
Supreme desire
I’ve always loved that verse from Mark because it captures the supreme desire of God, namely, to be with us. The Lord has been so generous to me. How can I just take His blessings but push Him away when He invites me near? That just seems so hurtful. It almost borders on selfishly using God. That’s a terrible thought, right?
Nobody likes to be used—especially under the guise of genuine relationship. This has happened to me, and I’m sure you’ve experienced it too. You spent time with someone, you helped them, you assisted them financially, you cared for them when they were sick, you gave of yourself. But then, when they got what they wanted from you, they dropped you. You realize they weren’t interested in you—but, were just using you—to get something from you. This hurts.
Oh dear God I don’t want to treat You like that. I don’t want to just use You to get things I need. I want to be with You because that’s what brings You joy. It seems that this thing You most want of us—the very reason You made us—is not something You make us to be, like robots. I imagine You’d take little pleasure in forcing us to desire to be with You. You woo us, of course, but You don’t make us sit on Your lap. But dear God I want to be near to You. I want to be close. That’s my supreme desire in life. If you made me for this purpose and my communion with You brings you joy—then I want to be all about it!
I pray that our supreme desire would be in perfect harmony with God’s supreme desire—to be with one another and enjoy one another. May we remember that this is the purpose for which we were made:
"I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty." — 2 Corinthians 6:16-18